Beth's Box

Learning to give no fucks

5th November 2019

Often, when you’re floundering around looking for a purpose in something… a purpose in anything really… there will be a moment when that something you need just appears.  If you really need it then you don’t have to go looking for it… if you have to go looking for it then you WANT it… and wanting something isn’t the same as needing something.  Confused?  Good, because I am too.

Exactly a week ago, I was in the middle of a bit of a crisis… I knew not what was bothering me, only that I ‘felt’ lost.  Dazed, confused, sad, and very, very lost. I couldn’t concentrate, and I was stuck in the perpetual abyss of procrastination.  To enable this procrastination, I turned to Pocket… usually something I use only when I find an article on my phone I want to read later, on my computer.  This time I turned to the ‘discover’ tab, and discovered something that changed my week.

An article, written by Mark Manson, The Most Important Question of your Life, set me off on a path of, not procrastination, but assessing.  It led me to his book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.  I remember the book being released.  I remember sneering and thinking “Who the fuck gives the book a title that has ‘fuck’ in it?” and because the title said ‘fuck’ I passed it over.

At the time, I passed it over because I didn’t want to know.  I wasn’t ready to be called out on my own bullshit, my own insecurities.  In short, I wasn’t ready to accept that one of my biggest problems was, in fact, myself. 

Last week, I was ready…

There’s a quote that sits in my mind… (the provenance is murky, and I don’t have time to research the arse out of it right now… but I’ll come back when I do and credit it correctly).

“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”

The student (me) was ready, therefore the teacher (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck) appeared.  I am far from saying that it’s changed my life, given it new meaning, blah blah blah.  You know the rubbish people spout when they place far more value on something than it deserves… but it confirmed what was already floating around inside of me, and provided me with a new way of thinking about it.  I’m not even sure if it is a new way necessarily, perhaps it has just made me think about it.

So, while I continue to devour Mark’s, often brutally honest, words I recommend giving him a read or a listen if you FEEL like something is missing from your life… but, only do that if you’re willing and ready to even consider that YOU are the biggest player in YOUR life. 

Does the first paragraph make sense now? If not, then we’re both screwed…

9 Comments

  • Reply
    Tracey Kifford
    11th November 2019 at 2:53 pm

    Oh I’ve seen this book in airport bookstores! I’ve been tempted – didn’t really consider what it was about. But – it actually sounds like a book I’d benefit from reading.

  • Reply
    Newcastle FamilyLife
    6th November 2019 at 11:28 am

    I have heard of this book but never read it, I will have to give it a read sometimes as I am my own worst enemy at times x

  • Reply
    Lyndsey O'Halloran
    5th November 2019 at 10:34 pm

    I learned to not care what others thought years ago now and it was really one of the best things ever. It’s so freeing.

  • Reply
    Derek Thompson
    5th November 2019 at 8:32 pm

    Great post, Beth. See also: https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B8NXN8yfg3CNOTBuWnlKSWlZMmc/edit

  • Reply
    Talya Stone
    5th November 2019 at 2:49 pm

    Yes to this! We are the bigger player in our life and we all need to remember that and learn to not give a f*** about what other people think.

  • Reply
    Bryony Shaw
    5th November 2019 at 12:16 pm

    This post is on fucking point

  • Reply
    Claire
    5th November 2019 at 12:02 pm

    Brilliant post, I am partial to the odd swear as well.

    I think you’re right in that what we need at the time will find a way to us when we need it most x

  • Reply
    Treasure Every Moment
    5th November 2019 at 11:41 am

    What an interesting question and one I could spend quite a bit of time thinking about. Sometimes an honest word is what’s needed to readjust our thoughts 🙂

  • Reply
    Sabina Green
    5th November 2019 at 11:41 am

    This sounds great, I go through phases of feeling very meh and procrastinating about tiny tasks. I think I will have to give this a read!!

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