Beth's Box

I suck at meditation

24th November 2019

I suck at meditating… like really suck at it… to such an extent that meditation seemed to have the opposite effect than its intention.

My mind has always been a monkey party, I can’t recall it ever being anything else.  The issue was, I didn’t realise that it was this monkey party that was (almost) entirely to blame for my low mood, low motivation, and general outlook on life.  It was why I struggled with almost every aspect of my life.

Much of the last 12 months has been about getting those monkeys in my mind in check… Not caging them but training them.  You see, caging would have the opposite effect.  Preventing the monkeys from running around would only cause more agitation.  Allowing them to breeze past, without judgement, without making too much of them, and gently guiding them back to the stool has a much better effect… Like children, monkeys don’t respond well to being caged…

Meditation, though, has always been my stumbling block.

The first time I felt it was rather successful… but then I expected far too much from myself.  (Funnily enough it’s a year tomorrow since my first attempt).  I realise now that I didn’t fully understand the idea that caging the monkeys was going to have the opposite to the desired effect.

Recently, I’ve been reading a few self-help books… It’s not a genre I have ever really gravitated towards, but I am glad I have. I’ve already talked about one of them here and mentioned the other two here.  They haven’t changed my life for me, but they have inspired me to make certain changes I hadn’t made before.

The biggest one of these changes has been meditation

(This is the point where C rolls his eyes and says “I told you so” like he does when I start raving about some technique or idea that he’s been trying to tell me for months.)

I tried out the Headspace app. 

I didn’t pay for a headspace subscription – I earned enough Weight Watchers Wellness point things for a 90-day subscription so I thought I may as well give it a go.  It has been remarkable. Not because it’s revolutionary, not because it’s a brand new idea… but because it makes sense to me. 

Yes, it is exactly what C has been trying to get me to do for months, but the Basics pack explains that you’re not meant to have it mastered straight away… You’re not meant to work too hard… it keeps me wanting to do more…

And, after each meditation you’re given a single concept to take away from the session and bring to the next.


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  • Reply
    28th November 2019 at 11:25 am

    I have used Headspace in the past. It is a lovely meditating app. I currently use Abide app and it is fantastic.

  • Reply
    Lucy Mackcracken
    26th November 2019 at 10:24 pm

    Both my husband and I have been enjoying using the headspace app. I’m not sure I’m practicing meditation but it definitely helps to try to calm the mind before bedtime particularly after a busy day.

  • Reply
    26th November 2019 at 6:54 pm

    I love to take time out to meditate. I don’t do it the normal way though, I can’t visualise walking, feeling the ground beneath my feet etc, I fly every single time. I am useless at grounded unless I am awake, eyes open and concentrated on actually feeling the grass beneath my feet. I guess meditation works differently for everyone.

  • Reply
    Kara Guppy
    26th November 2019 at 6:31 pm

    Sounds like a great app to get you started. I have not tried meditation

  • Reply
    Rosie Preston-Cook
    26th November 2019 at 6:05 pm

    I very much fall in and out of love with meditation. I have used the head space app and found it useful to an extent but I don’t think it is the only way to get peace of mind. I do find exercise to help enormously or simply reading a really good book.

  • Reply
    Laura Schwormstedt
    26th November 2019 at 3:20 pm

    I’m not good at meditation either but as they say practice makes perfect. I do love a good self help book though and love reading them even if I don’t have much time to put it into practice

    Laura x

  • Reply
    Pati Robins
    26th November 2019 at 12:22 pm

    i read the subtle art of not giving fxxxx – i actually found this book very useful , as for meditation – thats so not me , i think i thrive in stress and enjoy running like a headless chicken most of the time , even tho i complain about it like all the time 😉

  • Reply
    Lyndsey OHalloran
    26th November 2019 at 11:34 am

    My head is a big mess of thoughts most of the time but I’m not sure I would be very good at meditation. I find it so hard to relax.

  • Reply
    26th November 2019 at 10:56 am

    I try to meditate but struggle to switch off sometimes, there’s a lot to get out of my head

  • Reply
    26th November 2019 at 8:30 am

    Meditation is hard and I find I need to be in the right head space to do it but when it works it is good. May try the free app version and see how I get on

  • Reply
    Tracey Kifford
    26th November 2019 at 1:29 am

    I keep trying to meditate – it’s something I actually WANT to do … but I’m not very good at it. I’ll get there

  • Reply
    Talya Stone
    25th November 2019 at 3:23 pm

    Meditation can be damn hard! I’ve been doing it for about three years but my goodness in the beginning it was a struggle. I think the Headspace app is really great for those who find it challenging. I do love a Youtube guided meditation too.

  • Reply
    Sarah Howe
    25th November 2019 at 3:22 pm

    I find it hard on somedays but once at work when I was pregnant I actually fell asleep a few times! You do need to practice!! Glad you enjoying Headspace.

  • Reply
    Sabina Green
    25th November 2019 at 11:11 am

    It is so much harder than I ever imagined. I have tried it myself, there are some good youtube videos that can help, but just me having a clear mind I find so hard!

  • Reply
    25th November 2019 at 10:54 am

    I also suck at meditation. I find going to yoga is enough to chill me out. But it needs to be a fast version, anything too slow and my mind wanders. My husband swears by headspace, he loves it. And you can tell if he hasn’t meditated during the day, he’s quite uptight, hah, but don’t tell him I said that 😉

  • Reply
    Fran Back With A Bump
    24th November 2019 at 6:01 pm

    I really ought to give this a go, as my head is often so packed with everything work wise that I feel like I’ll explode. Learning to relax and switch off and be mindful would help I’m sure

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