The last year has been monumental for me. I have assessed the direction of my life and altered its course. Much of this journey of self-discovery has been guided by what some would call fate.
Fate isn’t something I previously would have given airtime but it’s the best way to describe the events of the last 13 Months.
Thirteen, may be unlucky for some but its a number I have become attached to… after all 1+3=4. The number 4 to me, indicates a period of calm reflection, contemplation, solid foundations. You have discovered the idea, made the choice, and watched it grow.
Anyway, I digress…
The beginning of the cycle
Early April 2018, I lost a very dear friend… not through death but through a divergence of paths.
I had begun to ask for change but the universe didn’t answer how I expected it to. In what I thought was some cruel joke at the time, the person I thought I needed and clung to like a leech was catapulted in a different direction. I was upset, I was angry. I felt confused and lost.
However, as the days wore on I began to experience relief, a weight had been taken off my shoulders. The friendship had become toxic and co-dependent. It was time to take back control and find my own way.
Finding my way to freedom
As the fog of the loss began to lift I could see the way forward… Being ‘mum’ just wasn’t enough for me anymore. Something bigger was waiting.
Just over a month later, I set up my business, The Happy VA. It may not be the best way to start a business – on the spur of the moment – but I felt I had been offered an olive branch…
The idea popped into my head and I ran with it – not quite a streak across a football pitch – but within 12 hours of the initial idea, I had my business website up and running.
If I am honest, I didn’t expect to achieve anything near what I have achieved. The only thing I did know was that I was only guaranteed to fail if I didn’t give it a go.
It went better than expected… and has gone from strength to strength.
The pieces that just fell into place
As time wore on, each client became pieces of a much larger puzzle, and being a VA just seemed to fit.
Over the last year I have had the privilege of working with a variety of different people but the one thing that stands out about them all is that they each know who they are.
It wasn’t until the end of the year that I received a metaphorical slap across the cheeks and realised the enormity of the journey I am on.
The meeting of the minds
There are people you meet who leave next to no impression… but then there are those who shatter every foundation you have. Last November, I met the latter.
Everything fell around me, every truth I thought I knew was crumbled. I was stripped bare.
Over the course of the 1 hour Skype consultation I discovered a soul I have known before.
As my marriage took a nosedive from possibly repairable to the dark depths of no going back, he was there. He showed me the way.
A beautiful friendship developed, a meeting of minds. I rediscovered my passion for things I had forgotten I loved.
By the end of December, Jim had moved out. It was amicable (still is) and is the best thing for both of us, not to mention the kids.
Co-parenting and self-discovery
Separation doesn’t come with a manual but if it did I am sure it would emphasise the need for an amicable separation and, if there are children involved, to try and co-parent.
It’s something we have both been working hard on, and we seem to be working it out.
Internally, I have been assimilating the journey of the last year… Since the beginning of January I have discovered so much about myself. I have been revelling in the eternal quest for knowledge and rediscovering the joy that can be found in living, not just being alive.
As much progress as I have already made – this journey is really only just beginning.