And suddenly you just know it’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.
It’s been a long 14 months, but tomorrow marks the start of the rest of Macsen’s life. He has had such a tough year. Struggles with speech, communication, school, and people have pretty much been the theme of the year. He hasn’t been a happy child. As much as I hate to say it he’s been unhappy, lonely, and destructive.
Macsen, my lovely little boy, the boy who brings me so much happiness and joy, has felt completely lost.
Tomorrow, he starts at a Speech and Language unit. This process has been an easy one. That in itself is something no one expected. Everyone has told me how unlikely it was that Macsen would even be considered, let alone get the place.
Being honest, the school he was attending didn’t think he would get in on the grounds that his behaviour is disruptive, and he can often have aggressive outbursts, moments of general disruptiveness, and just generally not being very nice. I think the staff at the school had already written him off as a disruptive child, who wasn’t going to get anywhere. As much as it hurts to say it, I believe that is the case.
Two people saw through his behaviour. They were the two people who mattered most, whose influence meant the difference between Macsen having a chance and Macsen being labelled as a child with no prospects.
Macsen proved to them what a star pupil he can be. He proved that all he needs is the right guidance; the nurturing of a classroom focused more on his wellbeing than his attainment levels. He proved that he needs more than any other school could offer, and that the right setting will give him a chance.
The emotions I’m experiencing over my new change keep changing. One minute I’m ecstatic and the next my anxiety shoots through the roof. Normal feelings, I am sure.
Tomorrow, my little man starts ‘big school’. Tomorrow, I will kiss my boy goodbye in a taxi outside my house. Tomorrow, I won’t be taking him to the school gates.