#Blogtober17 – Are all secrets bad?

#Blogtober17 – Are all secrets bad?

We’re big on telling the truth in our family but sometimes secrets can be a good thing to keep.

I’m a very honest person (probably too honest) and that includes honesty with my children.  If they ask a question then they usually get an age appropriate answer. 

Today’s #Blogtober17 prompt is secrets and it has actually got me thinking:  what can I define as a good and bad secret?

Good Secrets

  • Father Christmas is a good secret to keep.  Garreth is at an age where he knows that Mam and Dad are Mr & Mrs Christmas.  He keeps the secret for the sake of the younger ones.
  • Surprise Parties make people happy.  If I am planning a surprise party for someone and the children are involved they know they should not spoil the surprise. 

Bad Secrets

An action that causes hurt, pain or suffering should not be kept a secret.  For example:

  • Breaking something that belongs to someone else and not telling them.  It causes the person to be upset.  This is bad.
  • Someone hurting you and telling you it’s a secret…  this is a bad secret.  I’m not going to name the incident but it’s particularly important to teach children that this is a bad secret.

Drawing a tangible line between good and bad secrets is extremely difficult.  I try to define it to my children by making them think of the impact on others (even though this isn’t foolproof!).  If a secret brings happiness and joy it is usually good; however if it makes them or anyone else unhappy it can be bad.  It doesn’t always work like this buy I try to trust my children’s judgement

What are your views on good and bad secrets?