We’re big on telling the truth in our family but sometimes secrets can be a good thing to keep.
I’m a very honest person (probably too honest) and that includes honesty with my children. If they ask a question then they usually get an age appropriate answer.
Today’s #Blogtober17 prompt is secrets and it has actually got me thinking: what can I define as a good and bad secret?
- Father Christmas is a good secret to keep. Garreth is at an age where he knows that Mam and Dad are Mr & Mrs Christmas. He keeps the secret for the sake of the younger ones.
- Surprise Parties make people happy. If I am planning a surprise party for someone and the children are involved they know they should not spoil the surprise.
An action that causes hurt, pain or suffering should not be kept a secret. For example:
- Breaking something that belongs to someone else and not telling them. It causes the person to be upset. This is bad.
- Someone hurting you and telling you it’s a secret… this is a bad secret. I’m not going to name the incident but it’s particularly important to teach children that this is a bad secret.
Drawing a tangible line between good and bad secrets is extremely difficult. I try to define it to my children by making them think of the impact on others (even though this isn’t foolproof!). If a secret brings happiness and joy it is usually good; however if it makes them or anyone else unhappy it can be bad. It doesn’t always work like this buy I try to trust my children’s judgement.